Extreme Heat, Weird Dreams, and Hustle Culture Woes
Is it autumn yet?
The other night I had a strange dream. I was going to my high school class reunion. In the dream, I chose to wear my favorite grey sweatpants and a sweater that says “My favorite season is the fall of the patriarchy.” It’s an outfit I actually own, and this was the year celebrating 25 years since I graduated, although that fact feels INSANE. I don’t feel … old. But younger me would definitely have considered this old. Rude of her!
Anyway, in the dream, I was looking for two of my best friends from high school—women I’m happy to say are still my friends, even if we all live in different states.
I woke up, and my first thought wasn’t about how I missed my 25-year reunion, and it wasn’t even about the friends I’d been looking for in the dream since we’ve stayed in touch. I just kept thinking about the sweater.
Even in my dream, I am over summertime!
I really want it to be fall. Already, I’m dreaming of pulling on a hoodie to counter the chill in the air while sipping a pumpkin spice latte. Ah! Bliss!
My dream self also seems to be protesting the patriarchy as much as my waking self. I’m here for it. This year has been exhausting in terms of world news, and I am over it. I could really use a positive plot twist, and in lieu of one, I’m daydreaming about the autumn season.
Let’s face it: I get summertime sadness the way other people experience seasonal affective disorder in the winter. I don’t like the constant heat and humidity, and I’ve been dealing with the added pressure of having to hustle hard to make ends meet while feeling constantly cranky and sweaty. It’s not the best combination.
I live in a wealthy town, and I work for an area non-profit. I often joke in meetings that I speak for the Poors, but underneath that joke, I’m tired. I do have a perspective that I think is useful when it comes to making programming accessible and affordable, but I honestly wish sometimes that I didn’t have quite this much perspective. While the GOP is attempting to end SNAP benefits and Medicaid, I’m over here wondering what it’s going to take to survive. In my super wealthy town, I sometimes feel like I’m alone in the struggle—even though I know that’s not true.
But I digress. I had a weird dream, and it got me thinking about a sweater I love (featuring the work of artist Wawawawick) and the coming change in seasons—still so far off. Then, I started thinking about the coming school year (my kids start back on August 1st), and then I started spiraling about how I’m going to afford school supplies when I’m behind on everything that matters.
I honestly believe that the autumn version of me might be a little calmer. Definitely cooler. I wouldn’t be sweating while typing these words unless I was in the grips of a passing hot flash. I think I’d be able to handle all the stress if I wasn’t also battling the heat.
So, if you’re feeling a little out of sorts, it’s okay to blame the weather. Or your sun sign. Or, you know, the sun. It’s okay to rage about climate change and curse our hateful leaders and generally wish you were living in a different timeline, a kinder one.
I hope you can give yourself a little grace—and maybe a cool treat to help you calm your a$$ down. That’s my plan. A slice of watermelon or a scoop of ice cream. I need to chill out—literally and figuratively speaking.
Because summer isn’t going anywhere quite yet. While I’d love to be ushering in both fall and the fall of the patriarchy, the best I might be able to do today is to enjoy a sweet treat on a hot day and remind myself that screaming into the void might scare the neighbors (scream into a pillow instead).
xx
Crystal
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