Finding my soul mate isn’t my problem anymore. It’s the Universe’s problem.
After all, if the Universe has a perfect soul mate for me that I’m supposed to be with, then our paths are bound to cross.
Assuming one believes in soul mates, it seems that everyone has something to say about how to find one. One of the most common suggestions is to try online dating. Everyone I know has a story about someone who found true love online.
And I’ve done that, online dating. I’ve gone with the paid subscription services that try to match you with someone like-minded, and I’ve tried the free apps where you swipe right or left based on little more than attraction. There are benefits and pitfalls to dating this way. While I don’t judge those who continue to look for love online, I’ve decided to take a counter-intuitive approach.
I deleted all of my online dating profiles and decided to try something that I know might be infinitely more difficult: I’m going to meet someone IRL (in real life). First of all, I should say that I’m in my mid-thirties, divorced, and with kids. My life is busy. I work for myself so meeting someone through work is highly unlikely. I’m a single mom, and I’m usually accompanied everywhere by small, active children. That makes it more complicated. Plus, I’m trying to finish a book series I’m writing and get those books published- no small feat.
It may seem like online dating would be the more convenient option for the life I’m living. While I don’t disagree, I’ve decided to address the soul mate issue in a way that resonates most with me. I’m focusing on myself right now. I’m writing, training for athletic events, getting my home organized, and trying to raise healthy and happy children. I know who I am, what I want, and have my priorities in order.
If I’m going to meet someone, it’s going to have to be on the path I’ve set for myself.
If that sounds limited, I know already that it is. I do participate in local political and social activist groups. I look for and attend events that interest me like concerts, festivals, and art exhibits. My focus on creating the life I want will certainly bring me in contact with other like-minded people. It may take a while, but I’m not in a hurry. Especially since I’d rather be with the right person than the wrong one. Besides, I’m perfectly happy being on my own.
My job isn’t to hunt down Mr. Right or stay alert for the possibility of a soul mate encounter. I’ve decided that my only job is to create the best life for me, work on my own issues, and keep an open heart. I need to be in the best place I can be to acknowledge a soul mate connection when I find one, but I'm not going to search for it. I’m not making it my mission in life. And I’m certainly not going to reorder my life to find someone who may or may not exist. Though I choose to believe that soul mates do, in fact, exist.
I’m not giving up my personal power if that’s how it seems. I am, instead, embracing my personal power. I’m using it to enrich my life and to focus on being the kind of person, mother, and friend that I need to be. I’m cleaning out my house, my car, and the inner workings of my mind from the baggage of the past. I’m making myself stronger and loving myself more.
Am I washing my hands of the task of finding my soul mate and leaving it to the Universe to decide? That’s one way to look at it. But I much prefer to look at it as trusting the Universe to do what it does to manifest blessings in my life.
I prefer to see it as washing my hands of the worry and leaning into faith in what will be.
In the words of Mandy Hale, Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain anything is possible.
From I’m Quitting Soul Mate Hide & Seek —published on P.S. I Love You on Medium
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